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The past week succinctly summed up in three words.
This week has been one hell of a blow to my self-esteem. Most of the week was spent preparing the portfolio for something I had to pass. As usual, I can never make up my mind. Ask me to choose one, and I’ll insist on two, haggle on three, and shoot for four. Such is my life.
Monday – Monday was the day of my Practical Exam over at McKinsey and Company. It was mind-boggling why a business consulting firm would bother contacting a humanities major for their endeavors. But, I had nothing to lose, except maybe, an afternoon’s worth of time. Their office was pretty sleek, had a great view of the Makati skyline. Prior to going there, I knew what the test would be like and I was sure I was was going to fail it splendidly. But as we all know, the experience of taking a test is way different.
As I set there, in their snug, black conference chair, I was answering questions like: “Which of the following is the best estimate for the price of soso to be financially beneficial within 2 years?”. So yeah, I was writing sloppy computations on the piece of blank paper they gave us, and I never felt more clueless in my life. One case study spoke of some shrimp restaurant that was needing logistical reform, and the best I could do to answer the damned thing was to draw a shrimp, and maybe some arrows.
The first reverberations of “Not good enough”. I wasn’t gonna be good enough to answer that test. I wasn’t going to be good enough to earn the reputable six-figure salary that my parents always wanted me to earn. So after an hour of complete and utter cluelessness, I bid their classy office good-bye. Thanks to my friend Anna (my genius of a friend from first year M02) for keeping me company 
We rewarded ourselves with an ice cream stick from 7-11 right after. Hihi
Tuesday – Crunch time for those portfolios to be finished as I juggled it with thesis, readings, and thinking of ways to get those panel boards done. We were supposed to read Hannah Arendt’s “Labor, Work, Action”, I read it, but somehow couldn’t really understand it :\ Actually, Tuesday wasn’t that bad.
Wednesday – The day of infamy. As I struggled to get things printed, filled out envelopes, burned CDs, wrote things, I felt inadequate. What if I wasn’t good enough. What if these things I’m spending my Christmas money over aren’t good enough for them? When we submitted them and I caught sight of the pile of envelopes stacked at the back, it resounded at the back of my mind: “what if i’m not good enough, not good enough, not good enough”. Somehow, my pile of brown envelopes looked like shit.
Thursday – The disaster waiting to happen. Today I had an oral exam in Philosophy. I really did prepare for it, wrote a spiel, highlighted key words, read the readings and my notes over and over, spent time in the library concentrating. But I really botched it, more than I have botched any other oral exam in my life probably. I love Ph103, but on Thursday, I wasn’t good enough to even decently answer the supposedly “easier” thesis statement. I almost cried but decided, with the help and consolation from the friends over at the pubroom, that grades are not worth crying over. Five days into the week, and I’m still not good enough.
Friday – After the devastation that was Thursday, Friday at last. R&R day, Job Fair day, yet another printing day. Although I’d like to think that I did a pretty good job with my resume because I spent time laying it out in InDesign, making it all tabular and visually stimulating, it still wasn’t good enough for this particular job fair. I have a lot more to say on this issue.
Noni, Jason, Jonty, and I, the only BFA ID students in that floor, scoured the cocktail tables for our “future” employers, we were having a difficult time. Like we didn’t have any place to go. Our resumes, no matter how visually distinct they were, would never have the same magnitude as the words Finance, Marketing, Operations or Management stated in another’s resume. Again, not good enough. We left the place thoroughly dissatisfied.
Some products of recent bouts of productivity:
Portfolio: Check it out here
Location View D:
This blog ceases to be exclusively for thesis purposes only! Hihi.
First of all, with the exception of today, I am loving the very lovely weather we’ve been having lately. Blue skies and white puffy clouds (almost) everyday! You know that when it’s a nice blue sky outside, there’s bound to be a gorgeous sunset waiting at dusk. However, the past few weeks have not been as pleasant as the weather, all these readings to read, thesis work yet to be accomplished, and most especially the constant pressure of the days ticking by. Huhuhu! As expected of the last semester of college, it will always be a time for lasts. Just weeks ago, we’ve had the last first day of school ever. EVER! 18 years of schooling! The repercussions may be subtle as of the moment, but I can only imagine graduation day, or the day of your last oral exam, or your last lecture, or even the day you pass the hardbound copy of your thesis. From here on out (*I’LL BE YOUR COMMANDERRR* could not help it), it’ll be just a mere days before school is finally and indubitably over. Note: I love how the word “indubitably” sounds <3
And because my life is devoid of excitement, my thesis will be much more interesting to talk about. Hihi! The photo seems mundane, but I happen to like mundane photos, precisely because there is no such thing if they are taken with purpose and meaning. I hope the project can underline the value of simple and seemingly mundane photos of shit on the sidewalk, chipped paint on signage, fallen electric posts, and the like. Photos shouldn’t only be taken after things/events happen. Pictures can combine to form the consciousness of a community-in-the-making. Ok. I am rambling.
But, I am seriously excited to work on the bajillions of things I still have to do 8D As well as to work with the people who’ll make my beloved project into a palpable reality. I seriously cannot stress how helpful my back-end programmer has been, as well as for the barangay captain who’s been really kind so far. On that note, here is a picture of me with him.
Random notes:
I love the work I do right now, but I wish I also had time to do other things. Like cool, new stuff. Just this morning, I had this immense longing to shoot some videos, I’ve also been thinking of possible shoots to do over the Christmas break. Kahit isa lang, Lord! Please! 8D Keep making things. I have to keep telling myself to do just that.
Vanity. Pagbigyan. Hihi. I really just like the photos Belle took of me for her thesis. Especially this one Dirty, little, ragged nooks, how I love you so <3
IF THINGS GO WELL, (IF I DON’T MESS UP, FALL INTO A LAZY DAZE)
MAIN PART OF THESIS WILL BE DONE VERY SOON!!! READY FOR TESTING
THEN I CAN WORRY ABOUT THE WORKSHOP AND THE MISCELLANEOUS STUFF <3
THANK YOU MY BELOVED PROGRAMMER FOR TREATING ME TO STARBUCKS TODAY! DURING A MEETING WHEN I WAS VERY SLOW AND INCOMPETENT 8D
In progress:
1) Bought the domain and webspace already. I may transfer this blog there, or make a redirection, probably. http://barangaybahagi.com
2) Already visited the target barangay of choice. One trike ride away from the house. Perfectly fits my demographic, and is very very near where I live.
3) Got a map of the vicinity, figuring out what to do with it D:
Programming is currently ensuing, will be seeing the coded site tomorrow. Hoping it’ll work seamlessly.
Since I’m waiting for the website, I decided to go on with trying to design the other paraphernalia (eg. the manual, the newsletter, leave-behinds) D:
Next update: studies for the leave-behinds, print paraphernalia
I never draw for work, or for academic things. Drawing and painting have always been strictly personal domain But now, since I’m trying to loosen up my rigid style of design, I’m trying to vector more organically (?) So this will be the first of a study I’m doing for fun and for work. Addressing the possible target audiences of the project. Obviously this one is of the typical hipster, lugging around the SLR, looking for things to shoot. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for the proliferation of the medium, just make images with purpose, that’s it. Never shoot just because. Pretty things are pretty because they do something.
Hipster with an SLR but nothing to shoot?
Next one will be of a bored lola holding a cellphone camera 8D
Started working on the interface already. Here’s what the sidebar and main frame look like:
click on image for full view
Still working on how to structure the grid for the inner part, planning on making different “frame” sizes for the images, since ideally, I don’t want all of them the same size. The sidebar features 3 different classifications for viewing the images: by major category, by tags/trending, and by location. Ideally, I plan to make the images searchable via tags. The upload button is for the web upload pathway.
TATA’S ATTEMPT AT CODING AFTER 4 LONG YEARS 8D
Ok, don’t laugh, but I *tried* my hand at coding the website *CUE LAUGHTER*, just so I could see how it looks in a web browser. Of course, the site’s still extremely unsophisticated and crude, but I really just wanted to see how it works in a browser. CLICK HERE to visit the website.
Thesis Updates:
- Finalized new sections for thesis proposal
For Theoretical Background: Added new section on Narrative Theory
For Target Audience: Added a new subsection: Community Profile
For Historical Background: Added new subsection on: Citysourced.com
Added one whole new chapter on Design Concepts and Theory
Decided on using a hierarchical grid and currently studying it
Regarding Pertinent Personnel:
Set an appointment with Red Batario of the CCJD (proponent of public journalism in the Philippines) on Friday in the afternoon (4PM)
Emailed the Quezon City LGU (awaiting reply)
Finalization and initial talks with programmer (Bryan Zarzuela, thank you!)
Here’s a quick study 
I have no idea how interface design works. I have this mountain of stuff to read, but I don’t know how to start re-learning web design. GAHGAHGAAAHH. I LIKE TAKING PICTURESSS, THAT’S IT *__*
After the hullabaloo on the trailer and the presentation, it’s back to the paper again. This time, it’ll be a full-blown 30 page endeavor all by my lonesome. I already have some sort of idea on how to do my paper again. This time I’ll be adding new sections on Narrative Theory (my choses comm theory for the matter), update the Public/Citizen Journalism segment, and an entire section strictly on form, design concepts, visual interfaces, grids, usability. HUHU
Ok for this part, I need your help, I sort of have three pegs for the website. I’m still not sure how to go about the design in terms of style. Should I go for this one, which is more classy, serif typefaces, no extraneous lines and divisions?
Or this one, something more artsy, rustic, and hand-drawn?
Or something like this?
Help! (Parker, if you are reading this, now is the time to comment! 8D)
Haven’t had a decent conversation with my programmer, but I did email him already. Will start on the design pretty soon. That is, after core curriculum subjects are dealt with. Lesse, there’s the Theo Report on Thursday, book design on Tuesday, Philo orals the week after that, and Guidon, and Artillery and, and, and…*SABOG*
